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Before i go into the corporate matter: let’s deal with GAY MARRIAGE AND PARTNER’S RIGHTS: his family gets the house. i get..well..nothing

Posted by wilfried on 02 Mar 2013 / 7 Comments

So…..If you are not bored yet, here are facts that need to be told: If you are gay partners in Canada, you can get married, have rights together.

BUT, if you like me have met your partner and lived in USA before, purchased goods, a condo together, well, if you are not from the same nationality, even if state gay marriage exist, in the absence of a will, the living partner left gets….NOTHING.

My partner of 8 years owned a house in Atlanta, and we together owned a condo in Portland Oregon. In his nervous breakdown, the poor guy did not think forward about a will. As previously said, he expected me to go with him as well. So in his long term stress, he did not plan for him. If frustrated i cannot be angry at him. And to be honest, if money could help me to start my material life again, it will not bring him back will it?

Upon the discovery of his death, i could not deal with calling his sister (who he supposedly was close to) and delivering such news. I asked the police to do so. The canadian side did the job but the NYC one never carried the news to her in person. After two days waiting i finally called…Got told off for not calling before (eeeerrr, when you discover your partner cold and hanging foaming at mouth, you really feel like calling his sister straight away, right?) and within 5 mins in the same call, got asked if he left anything for his niece. …….

And we are talking about a woman who goes to church and “did a prayer for him”.

Then his brother asks me for photos of him, when really i dont have any except for the ones when he makes stupid faces…..Cos simply we did not have pictures of ourselves all over the walls…We were together everyday. Why would we?

And in what way a family who s never there have any right to tell me what i should do?

Then the sister asks for the ashes to be split in two and have one sent to her (would you like to financially participate?). How about a third box for the dog? Seriously?

One friend told me i should do what is appropriate and let the family get what they want…Aren’t our dog and I supposed to be the immediate family? Thankfully in Canada we are.

Ultimately: after 9 years, i get nothing. His family packs away whatever is in the USA, and wont offer at any stage to share with the man who loved their brother for 9 years. And you know what it is petty: because again money will not bring him back. And even if there had been a will leaving me everything, i would have shared with the family. Not everyone is like that. Sadly.

Well if they can sleep at night and look at themselves in the mirror….

7 Comments for Before i go into the corporate matter: let’s deal with GAY MARRIAGE AND PARTNER’S RIGHTS: his family gets the house. i get..well..nothing


Mark
3 months ago


Hey Wilfred,

I’m am very upset when I hear of suicide of a gay peer, and I only wish and pray every day that it is one less than the day before when in fact, the suicide rate among gay men is on the rise. Again I am sorry for your loss and I know the void cannot be filled.

My partner and I intend to marry the end of spring 2014, he is American and in the military, I am Canadian. He brings up often that possiblity that I may get a knock on our door that he is never coming home from the war. My question is if we are married in Canada on the federal level but reside in the U.S., (and D.O.M.A. has not been implemented) and with both our wills in place for both of us, how the legalites be governed territoryly?

Mark

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    wilfried
    3 months ago


    Lawyers are useless on the matter. You have to consult the canadian government directly. Private lawyers have been useless to me at giving a direct answer.

    (Reply)

      Berto
      2 months ago


      Man! I’m pissed off! Why every psraotnr that I like has to die by wrong motives? I’m not judging him for what he did or what he thought, but I’m talking about wrong causes like not take care, sexual deseases, suicide, not natural death you know. But well, It’s just a shame that I couldn’t even meet him in person, from the backstage videos I notice that he’s really a kind person well, rest in piece sweet Wilfried and his husband.

    Brian
    2 months ago


    If you reside in the US, you are under US law, and undortunately DOMAIN applies. Think of the straight Americans that get married in Mexico or the Cayman Islands or whatever. The location of their wedding is irrelevant. What matters is the laws of the country you live in and are a citizen of,

    (Reply)

      Brian
      2 months ago


      Gah, I hate autocorrect. DOMA of course, not domain.

Benji
3 months ago


This is appalling to read, how could they treat you this way? Politics aside, you made their kin happy, you loved him and he loved you. I cannot and and dare not speak about whatever issues he struggled with that led to what happened but ultimately the love you two shared should have been enough for them to see you as family. On the political side it’s worse that the law is still no help, for times such as these for people to still be considered sub-class and not be worthy of the same rights as anyone else is what should really be considered the crime.

I’m sorry that I can only offer my condolences for your loss, but now its your burden and demonstration of the love you two had to keep his memory alive and live the life only you can live for yourself first off, and for him. If his family wants nothing to do with that then so be it, they dishonor his memory by dishonoring the man he loved.

Tears and all, know that even if only in spirit I am with you for support in anyway I could be that you’d will me to be.

B.H.J.

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Gay porn star reportedly commits suicide after U.S. laws prevent recognition of his marriage | Latestwire
2 months ago


[...] Wilfried Knight (right), an acupuncturist and porn star of French extraction, reportedly committed suicide last week in Vancouver, though his death was only confirmed by friends on Monday night. His husband, Jerry Enriquez, reportedly hanged himself in their home on February 21, 2013 and Knight was the person to discover the body. [...]

(Reply)



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